February 13, 2013:

Rounding Today
Up on feeds to 5.5 today, tomorrow 6.0
Consider increase fortification?- depends on daily weight
Weight: 2 lb 6 oz
Chest xray looked hazier than last, but no need to change plan of care
Cefepime and PICC stop tomorrow!!!

First thing when we arrived our nurse mentioned they were going to get a new baby in our nursery, which means parents have to step out till baby is settled. So, I immediately went to pump and then got set up to hold RJ. I held him for about 1.5 hrs before the new baby came. It just feels better and better holding him each day. :)
 Our nurse looked at his card and saw he hadn't had a bath in awhile and he was getting stinky, so she let me give him a sponge bath at his noon cares!! He wasn't the happiest w/ getting wet and cleaned, but I was having a blast!! He tolerated it well and then I got to lotion him up. I got to reposition him and snuggle him in his bed. We got a fresh binki to help soothe him and watched as he slowly went to sleep. I caressed his cute lil head and helped hold the binki in place till he fell asleep. He was wide awake right after the bath and slowly let his eyes shut as sleep came over him. He looks like a lil sleeping angel now. 
Something new and unpleasant happened today in the NICU in the nursery across from us. There was a flurry of doctors, respiratory techs, and nurses this morning around the bed and techs were coming and going w/ machines. It put the rounds behind. I could tell something not good was happening. I asked my nurse if the baby was going to make it and she wouldn't give me an answer of yes or no. I saw the L&D nurse bring up the mom and dad followed. I left for lunch and 45 min later when we came back there was family at the bedside and screens placed up. Eventually I asked the respiratory therapist checking RJ's settings, and she said they were withdrawing care. I could hear crying, which in turn caused the tears to well up in my eyes. I ended up going to pump and by the time I came back the nurses were cleaning things up. I feel so blessed right now with RJ's progress. 
Why do some preemies live and others don't... Why is RJ still living and that baby isn't... I just have to treasure each moment that I have with our lil man. He is so precious. He's such a fighter. 
I was connected with another mother who gave birth twin girls. We have been emailing back and forth. Today she shared a special poem with me. God says he won't give us more than we can handle. He knows the beginning from the end and knows that through the tough times he can bring sunshine. I don't know what others are going through right now, but I hope that RJ's saga might help strengthen someone else's faith, and maybe just be the catalyst to help them come closer to God. I don't want our pain to be in vain. 
Today was an awesome day... We have a growing boy who's stable. We greatly appreciate your thoughts and prayers.